I make a good point. Now onto Ignorance.... stupidity........

This comes from explaining my point of view to another friend who again came back with "You make a really good point." The amount of times that I have heard this statement in my life from teachers, friends, customers, fellow students, strangers and even random teenagers through xbox utterly astounds me. I can be opinionated at times, which as a result means that people get into debates with me. This is a mistake. I have spent most of my schooling life mastering the art of bullshit. This is a skill in which you take minimal information and make it sound fucking awesome. This skill got my friend a B+ on an assignment which I wrote for her in the lunch hour based on the blurb of a book and reading the last page. It is something I am a MASTER at.

Now, my opinion is not formed just on my opinion, I take into consideration your opinion, the majority's opinion, the facts that I know and then form an articulate arguement about it. THIS IS THE KEY! ARTICULATE PEOPLE! "You're wrong" is not a suitable form of debate.

Let's take for example one of the teenage boys off xbox who think they are so cool for saying shit like "Get back in the kitchen Bitch!" Lets do this in a recap manner so you can see what I do.
Boy: "Get back in the kitchen Nutty Princess"
Me: "Now why would I go do that, this is my gaming time"
Boy: "Women belong in the kitchen" *He then giggles and so do his friends*
Me: "Well now, if we are going to start referring to times when this was widely believed, then by my logic, you would be working by now, and therefore would not have time to play xbox"
Boy: "Shut the fuck up and make me a sandwich"
Me: "Also, I would like to point out that speaking to a female that way, regardless of who you are in front of shows a lack of intelligence. Did you know that studies have shown that people who bully, tease, or belittle strangers are doing so because they lack the brain capacity to hold articulate conversations with people?"  *** Please note, I know of no such study, this is the bullshit part :)
Boy: "Yeah.. well.. studies have shown your mum is fat"
Me: "Now, now, I am trying to be polite and explain to you the flaws in your arguement. I am also trying to indicate to you the way you appear to people who hold a higher brain capacity than you."
Boy: "Why would I care?:
Me: "Well, think about this a moment, what happens if I was a girl from your school, that really pretty one that you want to talk to but don't have the balls to. What happens if I am her, and I am playing this to get closer to you. The way you just spoke to me would indicate that I want nothing to do with you."
Boy "Yeah.. but you're not."
Me: "Thats true, but what if I am a friend of hers, or her sister, or her boss, or a friend of your mum or dad, or your boss, or someone you work with? Do you think that speaking in such a manner is appropriate?"
Boy: "Spose not.."
Me: "I really don't care if you truly believe that women belong in the kitchen, that is your perogative, however I really must stress the fact that you should think about what you say before you say it, as it is offensive, sexist, outdated and just plain rude."
Boy: "Yeah, Spose"
Me: "So, am I to assume that it is ok that I am playing Call of Duty, and not in the kitchen."
Boy: "Yeah man, thats fine.. you're pretty cool"
There have been times where the boys have resorted to "LALALA I'm not listening" which does make me wonder about the youth of today, but this teenage boy, who was adament that women belong in the kitchen... well I changed his opinion. I logged on the next day using Troys account, joined the game the kid was in, in time to hear him give one of his friends the same speech I had given him, less articulate.. with alot of "man" "bro" and "Just dont do it"s but part of me was so proud. He had not only seen my point of view, but felt it valid enough to share it.

So, I was not only right, I made a good enough point that he had to share it :)

I know that often my opinion can offend people, particularly when it comes to things like religion, and I try to form an argument that is suitable and unoffensive. I think the major difference is. I don't care what you think or believe, you could believe that the grass is blue, the sky is red and that cats are the lords of the universe. Thats fine, it is what you believe. I will however explain my belief to you as well. I dont care if you agree with mine either, I will however make you understand my point of view, just like I will ask you to make me understand yours. That is.. unless you are just plain stupid or ignorant, then you will likely tell me I am wrong and my belief is wrong.

People that anger me the most in this world, that I cannot stand. IGNORANT or STUPID people. I am not talking about people who just aren't as smart as the rest of the world, or those with disabilities, injuries or conditions. They are not stupid. I am talking about the people with the capability to use their brain, but choose to go with not using it because it is easier. I can handle opinionated, I can handle religious, I can handle strange. I cannot, under any circumstances handle ignorant or stupid.

There is a difference between ignorant and stupid. Ignorant people can (occassionally) be made to see the error of their ways. Yes, I call it an error. To me, an ignorant person is not someone who chooses to have a belief and stay with it. Lets take for example religion. I have many religious friends, who I hope are reading this. I adore you. Not because of your faith, but because you have faith, you have that undying faith in something, and you do not look down upon me because I don't. You don't try to change me, you accept me as I am for who I am.
Ignorant religious people, are those who have told me I am going to hell because I have tattoos and piercings, that god will smite me where I stand for living the way I am. They are the ones who tell me that if I don't go to church my soul will go to hell when I die.

I mean, my friends may believe that, but they have the forethought, the intelligence and the decency to not voice it. To either ignore that part of me, or accept me regardless of it.

Ignorant vs Non-ignorant

Ignorant is not willing to accept change, make change, or accept anything that is different from their belief. Non-ignorant, sticks to their belief, but is willing to accept that the world does not all have the same point of view, they are willing to accept things and people that differ from their views and belief.

Now stupid people.. that is a whole other ball game. Some of the most stupid people are some of the most intelligent. They are the people who do things without thinking, the people who act upon emotion (constantly), they are the person who slams on their brakes because they are sure they missed the turn. The person at work who does things their way regardless of how it is meant to be done. They are the person sitting there crying "Why did they leave me?" when they had cheated on their partner. They are the people who do not think! The person who drives their car into the ground without ever getting a service and doesnt understand why it broke down. They are the person who rather than discuss an issue they ignore the other person completely, then gets pissed off when the other person does it back. I have a million others to add, but society on a whole is getting stupid. So so Stupid.

Anyways, I make a good point. That is what this post is meant to be about. The reason that I am able to make a good point, or come across as it, or at least close, is because I not only acknowledge that people think differently to myself, but I take that into account when I am replying to that person. For example, religion really holds no value to me, I will explain further in another post, but I have the utmost respect for my friends who do. I NEVER tell them that they are wrong, or that their religion has no value, or that there is no God, because that is simply my belief, my belief is right to me, but it is not right to anyone else. I will however stand my ground and bite back if someone starts trying to force their beliefs on me, and that right there is the difference.

I talk, I talk about anything, anytime, if it comes up in conversation I normally have an opinion on the topic, if you know me, you know I am not lying. I am passionate, I am opinionated, but very rarely do I tell anyone that they are wrong, or that I am completely right and there is no way to avoid that. I will talk until the other person understands my viewpoint. I don't care if they like it, hate it, as long as they understand it. Normally with that understanding, people will then agree with me, or tell me i make a good point or "That makes sense"

In this time and age people being ignorant is outdated, and being stupid is becoming more and more common. As things like google take the place of libraries. Printouts and harddrives work more than our brains, we no longer think about things, because we have our computers and Iphones to think for us. (I am guilty of this at times too) The one thing that I refuse to give to a computer though is my rationalisation skills, the way in which I think. Do I remember everything that I have learnt through uni, oh hell no. But, I do remember the skills, essay writing, fact checking, researching, these skills I can use anywhere. I may be tech savvy, and a gamer, and I am definately an electronics girl, but I refuse to become one of these ignorant zombies who look down on people that are different from me, or one of these stupid morons who choose not to use their brains for their ultimate function... to think!

Doctors... this is a loaded one!

Right, so all this talk about my past has been drudging up so many feelings and emotions. Talking to some people I keep getting asked "Why didn't you ask for help?"

I did, my parents didnt know how to handle it, and didnt understand it, so they couldn't help me. Then I went to the doctors. I cannot remember specifics of my doctors visits as a teen, but I can tell you this much, they made me want to avoid them as much as possible.

So, doctors in my adult life. Let's sum it up in a few words. Discriminating, arrogant, self-centred, uncaring, unproffessional, money hungry bunch of wankers who did more damage than good. How?

Lets start with around 2005, around this time was when I started to think "Maybe I should do soemthing about my fitness level" ((PLEASE NOTE: I am happy with how I look, how I am, and all that, I do NOT envy skinny girls, nor do I desire to be one, I merely wanted to increase my physical ability, if I lost weight in the process, great, but it was not my goal!... Ahem)). So, I went to the doctor. This was about the time that there was all these ads on tv about going to your doctor for weight loss and all that jazz. My first experience talking to a doctor about fitness resulted in me crying, screaming at him and leaving without paying. This is how the conversation went

Me: "I am looking to get fitter, and I want to do it healthily, rather than just jump into it not knowing what to do."
Doctor: "So how much weight do you want to lose?"
Me: "I don't want to lose weight, I mean, if it happens, great, but I really just want to increase my physical activity and be able to play with my niece and nephews without too much strain.
Doctor: "Look, with people your size, you can call it anything you want, but it's weight loss, now, how much do you want to lose?"
Me: "Pardon... ?"
Doctor: "I understand its hard to acknowledge that you are obese, but you need to understand that you are obese, you are not doing yourself any favors by pretending you aren't"
Me: "I never said I wasn't, I just said that I don't care about the weight.. just my ability."
Doctor "Well thats a stupid way to look at it, and if you don't lose weight soon, you will give yourself so many health problems that lead to early death." (Please note: I was 20 at this point)
Me: "As your patient, I am asking you to understand that I do not want to focus on my weight, but rather my physical ability, and fitness level"
Doctor: "Well as your doctor, and a medical professional who knows more than you about fitness, obviously (as he motions towards me), I think that you need to choose a goal weight as you will be unable to monitor your progress without it"
Me : "I understand that, but you are insisting on me choosing a goal weight, which I do not have, as I do not want to focus on my weight loss, but on the exercise and my ability. Choosing a number for the sake of it seems unreasonable.
Doctor: "I can't help you if you wont set a goal"
Me: "My goal is to be able to run 1 km without getting puffed"
Doctor "Be reasonable, someone your size I will be suprised if you could run at all.
Me: "If you cant help me, I will go find someone who can without being a patronising asshole"

So that was not fun.

Other times that doctors have pissed me off.
Doctor 2 - Told me that I was too overweight to lose weight on my own, that I had to have surgery before it is too late (such as lapband or stomach stapling)

Doctor 3 - "I'm suprised that at your size you don't have more problems with your health"

Doctor 4 - Told me I could not lose weight without medicinal help in the form of drugs which cost $100 a month. When I said I couldn't afford the pills they said "Can you afford to die?"

Doctor 5 - "If you try to do too much physical activity, you will cause yourself injury due to your size."

Doctor 6 - When I approached them about head-spins, headaches, and light-headedness
Doctor "Well its obviously early symptoms of diabetes."
Me: "Why"
Doctor: "Because you have a family history of it, and you are overweight"
Me: "I am pretty sure in the records there are previous results regarding diabetes, as I am aware of that and keep a close check on it.
Doctor: "I still believe its diabetes"...
(A week later, after fasting, urine, blood test results come back)
Doctor: "So, its not diabetes"
Me: "Do the results show any abnormalities?"
Doctor: "No, all perfectly normal."
Me: "So.. sorry, an overweight person with a family history, doesnt have diabetes... ?" (yes I was being patronising.. sue me)
Doctor "Yes.. thats right.. but I dont know what else it could be.. "
Me" Well I still have them alot, particularly at work when I stand up too quickly
Doctor: "If it isn't diabetes, its your blood pressure, you may need to lower your cholesterol"
Me: "I have my blood pressure checked every few visits as I had really low blood pressure a few years ago for 2 weeks, but it is fine now"
Doctor "It must be your blood pressure." (As he doesnt even look at my previous results)
Wait.... wait...
Doctor "Your blood pressure is fine, I dont know what it is"
Me: "Well it is really annoying, and I almost passed out the other day at work"
Doctor: "Well, it seems to happen most often when you get up too quickly, or bend over then stand"
Me: "Yeah.."
Doctor "So just make sure you stand up slower, and dont bend that way".
((To this day I dont know what causes my headspins/light-headedness as every doctor is the same, even after telling them that I have been tested for diabetes and blood pressure, there is no other possible option. As part of an experiment, I got a friend to go in, fake the same symptoms.. the doctor listed off 3 other possibilities. Spinal alignment is out and putting pressure on nerves, inner ear problem, vertigo. No doctor has even mentioned these to me, jumping straight to weight related illnesses))

Doctor 7 - When going in regarding my anxiety/stress/depression. Asked me why I was feeling that way. I listed off everything I could think of..
"Hmmmm you seem to have left out the most important trigger"
I stared blankly
"Your weight. I know its hard to be overweight, and sometimes being overweight people come to hate themselves and their bodies"
I sat there, stopped crying, raised an eyebrow "I have no issue with my weight, I am fat, yeah I know that, but I am not having a total breakdown because of it"
"Being as overweight as you are would have some sort of psychological impact on you."
As I stood up, collected my stuff "No, what has a psychological impact on me is doctors constantly making me feel like my weight is the be all and end all of who I am. I am happy with how I look, fat bits and all." Stormed out.

Psychologist - "I believe you use your weight as a barrier to keep people away. You don't want to lose weight because you are affraid of being loved."
Me: "But I am loved, I have good friends, a boyfriend, I have had long-term relationships"
Psychologist "I think you struggle to lose weight because you are terrified of what people will think if they saw the real you"
Me: "Look, I overshare pretty much every detail of my life to anyone who asks. People only ever see the real me, I don't sugar-coat, I dont keep things back. If I have something to say, I say it and I am happy to say it.
Psychologist "All this anger, it stems from insecurities caused by you hating your body."
Me.. again as I pack up my stuff "My anger, comes from fuckwits who think that they know what I am thinking. I do not hate my body, yes there are days that I think that I could be lighter, or more toned, or fitter, but I don't hate my body. I hate that people think that being skinny is the be all and end all of happiness. It isn't, learning to accept yourself for who you are is."

Now... this is just the weight related incidents. Do not even get me started on other ones. I find that they use the weight as a blanket reason for my health issues, or, they cant see past the weight to the actual issue at hand. I still have no answer for the following health issues because either they cannot be stuffed working it out, or they keep coming back to the answer which has been disproven.

Light-headedness/headspins when getting up too fast/bending down and coming back up.
Lump in my abdomen (Ultrasound showed nothing, therefore it doesnt exist as far as 2 doctors are concerned, even if they can feel it)
Waking up each morning with cold/flu symptoms which go by midday (not allergies, I have been over that room with a fine tooth comb, and besides, it happens in every place I sleep, QLD, VIC, friends places, hotels)
Left hip/spine pain (xray shows nothing, therefore there is no issue)
Waking up unrefreshed (Sleep test shows I sleep fine, therefore there is no issue)

Gone are the days where the doctor genuinely wanted you to get better. Instead they do the bare minimum, run a few tests, and when they come back negative go "Oh well, no idea, don't worry about it"

Anyways, off track.

Do I understand that being overweight can cause health issues. Yes! Do I know that often it is because of someones weight that they got diabetes, or have crappy blood pressure.. yes! Does being overweight instantly make you unhealthy and more prone to illnesses than the skinny person next to you NO! Definately not. This belief of fat = unhealthy vs skinny = healthy is a whole heap of shit and needs to stop. Is carrying around excess weight your entire life good for your body, no, but neither is the way that some of these skinny people stay skinny. Then there is the other can of worms, those lucky people with ridiculously high metabolisms, who can eat nothing but junk and never gain a kilo.. they are far from healthy!

What we need is some sort of test, which focuses more on fitness level than actual body size or shape. We need doctors who care, give a shit and encourage and help us! Not patronise us and make us feel like second rate citizens!

Apologies if this rant doesnt make sense, I have a really bad headache.. which you know, is because I am fat! :)